All posts from The Onion

News In Photos

BELMONT, NH—"It's not anybody's fault, honestly," said 28-year-old Megan Slota, standing in her kitchen and holding a mug of tea with both hands. "Sometimes I just get like this where it's like I'm not, I guess, whatever. We don't have to get into it right now."

WASHINGTON—Citizens across the United States have selected the exact same teams to win every single game of the NCAA Tournament, handing in millions of completely identical brackets, college-basketball-pool organizers reported Thursday.

News In Photos

HOUSTON—Nugget's forward Carmelo Anthony made no secret of his displeasure with game officials Monday night after being whistled for a rarely called traveling-through-time foul late in the fourth quarter of Denver's 125-123 loss to the Rockets.

...

News In Photos

Bestselling author Craig Wheedon stops by Today NOW! to urge ladies to face the truth and dump the shapeshifter.

Done! A heaping, hearty 10-gallon pot of Rudy's Famous Five-Alarm Chili, simmered to perfection and all ready for the big party over at my friend...

GLENS FALLS, NY—"No, not the Oriental nurse, the colored one," Hillside Assisted Living Center elder Tom Stansell said before shutting his eyes and somberly bowing his head in silence for the next 35 minutes. "Always telling me what to do. I have rights, you know."

...

Despite the fact that the 2010 Census form is the shortest in recent history, some anti-government activists are refusing to answer any...