All posts from The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

 - Chris Hemsworth shuts me up about Alexander Skarsgard as Thor.
- Irina Shayk knows Cristiano Ronaldo banged Paris Hilton, right? I feel like she should know that and also that I’m disease-free. Wink.
- Nicole Kidman’s a ginger again.
- Tara Reid keeps getting sexier.
- Sam Worthington doesn’t Read More ...

   When properly clothed and supported.
Here’s Audrina Patridge in London last night facilitating the illusion that her breasts reside in the same area code and you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab. It’s like the exact opposite of all that fan-fiction I wrote:
“As I caressed Audrina Patridge’s ample love Read More ...

   Because presidents like titties, too, President Obama revealed he’s aware of Lindsay Lohan’s plight while stopping by The View today. And in case that depresses anybody – including me even though I voted for the guy and run a gossip blog – don’t worry, he immediately rebounds by not knowing what the hell a Snooki Read More ...

   “And with each step I do taketh, a Jew baby loses its taste for the blood of its fellow Jew baby and foresaketh all love of copper coins. Knowing this truth, should thou calleth My satchel a purse, thou shall bloweth Me in a lake of fire of My own device for such are your Read More ...

   Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are reportedly hiding out together adding fuel to the rumors that their divorce was a publicity stunt for Heidi’s reality show that she’s now pulled out of. A friend of Heidi’s stopped by her new house and found Spencer there working on the lifeguard movie that I still believe will Read More ...

   These are never-before-seen shots of Jon Bon Jovi from the new book Sex, Drugs and Bon Jovi and apparently they’re shocking because Bon Jovi was considered a relatively clean-cut band in the 80s. Granted, they were no Jonas Brothers, they also weren’t Mötley Crüe who let’s all agree was the better band or you can Read More ...

 This may come as a shock to you guys but apparently during the freakishly short time between Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack’s deaths, he pissed through 80% of her finances, according to her business manager. On top of that Simon’s mom also tried to kick Brittany’s mom out of the house. People reports:
“There were Read More ...

   - Kanye West is Twittering now. Can you buy stock in Caps Lock keys?
- Bruce Willis is still pissy about his personal space.
- Adriana Lima in a bikini.
- Tara Reid’s ass is a thing of beauty.
- Katie Price is pimping another book. You know what that means. Read More ...

   Here’s Megan Fox walking around Studio City yesterday in a short tee that lets you stare directly at her navel until things go.. fuzzy and you mysteriously wake up naked, covered in tuna. You don’t remember owning a bunch of stray cats, yet here they are laying on the floor next to you smoking cigarettes. Read More ...

   Because I get lots of requests to show more dudes on the site only to have nobody click on them because women don’t know what they want – Carrie admitted it on Sex and the City. It’s gospel. – here’s Russell Brand running around in his underwear on the set of Arthur today. I really Read More ...

   Hulk Hogan’s taking his ex-wife Linda’s engagement to 21-year-old Charley Hill remarkably well. Especially considering they’re getting married on a yacht named “ALIMONEY” which he obviously pays out the ass for. Here’s his exclusive statement to RadarOnline:
“I’m ecstatic for her, I’m very happy for them. I think they’re perfect for each other. I wish Read More ...

   These are promo shots for Katy Perry’s upcoming album “Teenage Dream” but who gives a shit? It’s Katy Perry in a rubber bikini. Seriously, I can’t even count the number of practical purposes something like this serves. Part of me wants to have easy clean-up sex with it while the other part wants to use Read More ...